The JCB News St. Patrick’s Day Special
Shot opens to Bryan and Chad. On Both
On Bryan:
Bryan
Top o’ the morning to ya JCB. Welcome ta JCB New’s St. Patrick ’s Day special. I be your host Bryan
On Chad
Chad
And I’m Chad-
On Bryan. Bryan glares at Chad.
On Chad. Chad looks down and sighs.
Chad
Bryan. I’m not going to do the-
On Bryan.
Bryan
Do the accent!
On Chad. Chad sighs again.
Chad
Bryan. I will not do that. It’s bad enough you’re making me wear this! These holiday specials of yours are stupid!
On Bryan.
Bryan
You’re face! These outfits are amazing! And how dare you. These specials are gold. Especially today’s.
On Chad.
Chad
Today’s? Are you kidding? It’s the worst! How can you base a special around such a lame holiday?
On Bryan.
Bryan
Lame? Are you mental? St. Patrick’s Day is the single greatest holiday of all time!
On Chad.
Chad
How do you figure?
On Bryan.
Bryan
St. Patrick’s day is the best of them all. There’s green stuff, Irish stuff, and even leprechauns. It’s the one day where four-leaf clovers are lucky! The day where rainbows lead to gold! The one day where you can eat corned beef and hash without vomiting!
On Chad.
Chad
All that is nonsense. And I happen to love corned beef and hash.
On Bryan. Bryan is absolutely disgusted.
Bryan
You would.
On both. They just stare at each other.
Chad
Really?
Cut to Questionnaire show. Return to both.
Chad
That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
Bryan
Come on! All I’m saying is that it is completely possible. When I catch a leprechaun and he refuses to lead me to his gold, then I’ll use a fruit-juicer to juice his magic out of him. So I can have all of the leprechaun magic to myself.
On Chad
Chad
That’s sick!
On Bryan
Bryan
Meh. What would you do with a leprechaun?
On Chad
Chad
Nothing. Because they don’t exist!
On Bryan
Bryan
What? You don’t believe in the power of magical leprechauns?
On Chad
Chad
No, I don’t believe in the power of magical leprechauns. That’s ridiculous. Just like this sham of a day. It’s all just an excuse to wear green and take advantage of your Irish heritage.
On both.
Bryan
You’re wrong! Leprechauns are real! St. Patrick’s day is the best! And it isn’t easy being green! And I bet I coincidentally prove this all to you by the end of this episode.
Bryan turns and winks to the camera.
[Something]
On both. Bryan runs on.
Bryan
This is incredible!
Chad
I don’t care
Bryan
I’ve found a lucky four-leaf clover! I followed a rainbow outside, and it led me right to it!
Chad
Sure you did.
On Bryan.
Bryan
Can you feel it Chad? The luck of the Irish flowing through your veins? I’m going to find a leprechaun and get his pot of gold, I just know it!
On Chad
Chad
Do you even think before you speak?
On Bryan
Bryan
That lil’ buggers around here somewhere. I can smell him. I’ma find him Chad, just you wait.
On both
Chad
Let’s just read the announcements.
[Announcements]
On Chad
Chad
The episode is dwindling down Bryan, and you have yet to prove me wrong.
On Bryan
Bryan
But St. Patrick’s Day….green…and the leprechaun….magic…gold….the clover…corned beef!
On Chad
Chad
Face it Bryan. You’re wrong, I’m right. There are no leprechauns and St. Patrick’s Day isn’t the best.
On both
Bryan
I guess you’re right Chad. There are no leprechauns. There is no magic. St. Patrick’s day-
[sound]
Bryan
Do you hear that?
Chad
Hear what? What now?
[Effect]
On Bryan
Bryan
It’s them Chad! The wee people of Ireland! I knew they existed! It’s a leprechaun! Look!
On Chad
Chad
What in?
A leprechaun is dancing on the ground.
Bryan
Yay! I told you! St. Patrick’s day is the best! Look! It’s a real live leprechaun! Now let’s go get some gold!
Bryan and the leprechaun are dancing.
On Chad. Chad’s head is down until he finally smiles.
Chad
It’s true. Happy St. Patrick’s Day JCB!
Final shot of the leprechaun.
Open to Mr. Smith.
Mr. Smith
Hi, I’m Mr. Smith. You may remember me from the library. And today I’d like to take a moment to wish someone a happy birthday. A happy 18th birthday to Chad Cook. Happy birthday Chad.
Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:10 am